Please get back to me as soon as you sober up

Mr Loukas,

I’m sorry to say that your outburst does nothing to allay my suspicions. My sister Ivy was a great one for profanity when under the influence of gin and look what happened to her!

I wasn’t going to mention it, but as you have raised the subject I have to say that I HAD noticed that you had not once enquired about my husband, not so much as a “and how is your husband following the unfortunate incident with the hot air balloon?”. I have always found that a little politeness goes a long way towards lubricating the wheels of business Mr Loukas. As does gin, but only in moderation.

Anyway, I am pleased to say that I have acquired a scanner and after an hour or so reading the manual I have managed to scan the agreement and attach it to this email. I’m sure it’s all second nature to you Mr Loukas, but for an elderly shellfish retailer from North Wales, mastering both the internet and scanning technology is something of which I am quite proud.

Please get back to me as soon as you sober up.

Kind Regards

Ethel Trellis (Mrs.)